Swimming "The reason I hate my life" Preview

As fall sports came to a screeching halt....Now starts the winter sport season full of excitement and rivalries....To kick off the sport previews, I have chosen swimming as the sport of choice to talk about.

Swimming is probably one of the most popular activities for Americans during the summer and seems like one of the easier sports too. While in actual fact its one of the most annoying sports ever. The idea of swimming back and forth seems easy then you realize that most times you will have to swim more than 50 or 25 yards at a time causing you to wonder how it is to be a fish and having nothing t0 do but swim. In the time that you think about how much your life sucks, chlorine starts getting soaked up into your pores and when you start heating up people around you start wondering what smells like chlorine, something that you would never need to worry about if your were on land...pretty much swimming sucks and the only benefit is when you race and when practice is over.

We bring back a core nucleus of senior leaders that include: Mike Missen, "Hot Karl" Rosenquist, Keyan Zarei, Mark"The Shark"Wieneke, Brian Lentz, Alan Choi, John "Jabba the Huff" Zhang, and Stan " The Man" Kamande. We added two seniors: Nick Nielson and Matt "China" Kelsay. Why they came out for swimming, I have no idea. We also added about 30 new freshmen and also embarrassed about 30 freshmen in our poster this year by leaving them in the cold with speedos.

We start the season againist Lin-Mar, which sound like a good team but need some breaking down to understand their talent.

Lin-Mar

They are probably one of the nicest teams in our conference other than Cedar Falls, but being nice only takes you so far. Last year we had an invitational at City High and about half of Lin-Mar's team under a water polo goal reading twilight. They also graduated all there non-harry potter/North Korea Scientist lookalikes and now are stuck with their yamanashi/harry potter lookalikes. Seeing as how we also dominated them in a meet last year winning 11 out of 11 varsity races, it will be hard for their yamanashi/harry potter lookalikes to muster the courage to be men and win a race against us.

With the way the team is developing, we predict that we could win the conference meet and bring the MVC trophy back to West. Also, a few funny meet flyers and t-shirts around the school so be aware!

Video of the week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGsoMbvHU50

West High Volleyball...SO GOOD!

First off: Go Hawks
Now down to business

This post has been a long time comin, mainly because the volleyball team deserved to have something written about how they dominate, and since their season just ended (fast forward to 40 seconds for hilarity), I'd like to put some thoughts on the blog.

So for those of you who aren't aware, West High volleyball is dominant. They made it to the state finals this year before losing to last year's winner Ankeny. I'm gonna go ahead and call foul play on the IHSAA, because they obviously rigged the match. But that's neither here nor there.

West has a few D-1 players on the team. Most notably seniors Jessica "Air" Gehrke and Christiana "Un" Fairfield. From what I could tell they were the leaders of the squad and provided the leadership on the court. Gehrke makes the opponents court look like Baghdad while Fairfield is apparently the setter or something (obviously, I'm one of the volleyball experts).

The Women of Troy played extremely well this year, and deserve the crown of "Best Fall Sports Team" narrowly edging out girls cross country, who also had a super season and have alot of talent coming back (note: the girls cross country team also deserves some respect, I've been nagged by a certain someone to write about them, but since I have 0 knowledge about the sport of cross country, I'm not even going to try and persuade you that I do).

So here's how I'll sum things up:
Volleyball=amazingly good
Girls XC=very good
Toy Story 2=ok
Dane Cook=not so great
That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

With Love,
David "Lights Out" Rachke

Quick West High Season Review

Note: To get the full effect of this entry, you have to imagine that Green Day's "Time of Your Life" is playing in the background while you read this. Or Fire Burning by Sean Kingston, either one, it's up to you.

Well, it had to end eventually. Teams just can't play forever. As many of you know, the West High Football season ended at City High, in the first round of the playoffs. The game was a tough one, in which early turnovers created a mountain our team couldn't climb.

Now despite the playoff game, this season was a large success. Last year we had 0 wins, and although our offense was great on paper, we just couldn't win. This year, we improved vastly. Here are the things we need to look back on and smile.

1. We won THREE GAMES! That's like going from this to this. And the team covered all the types of wins too. A nail-biter, a blow-out and a third type of win that I haven't thought of yet. It's nice to win isn't it?

2. Some individuals really shined: Jamal "J-Train" Thompson, "Tayler-Time" Bontrager, Charlie "And the Chocolate Factory" Rogers, Jacob "Smash" Gannon, and Brandon "A Bay" Bay. If you're not listed, it's not because I don't like you, it's cause I couldn't think of a nickname.

3. Faith has been restored.

Not to say the turnaround is complete. Far from it. But the program is heading in the right direction. All the hard work is paying off and eventually West will turn back into the late 90's teams who dominated life.

It will be interesting to see how this team changes next year. I won't be around, so I won't care as much, but still. GO WEST!

With Love,
David "Lights-Out" Rachke

"Playoffs! We're talking about playoffs!"

With the West football team in the playoffs for the first time in 4 years. Many people are as optimistic as ever for tomorrow nights game, due to late knowledge that our team is actually good. We walk into game with a few things going against us:

1) Brandon "A Bay" Bay, defensive threat and Jacob Gannon's Sidekick on the line, is sick with Swine Flu/Pneumonia (Get well big guy!). Meaning we will lack the usual aggression that comes with having The Hurricane on the line

2) Xavier likes to pass the ball and have a big time QB/WR tandem, which could be a big problem for us because we have showed some susceptibility to covering the pass

3) They also have one of the best defenses(using a lot of wrist control) in the conference, they give up an average of 11.4 pts per game

With the way things have been going with the football team amidst the controversy surrounding theft and drugs, they have been able to overcome such controversy with the leadership of its seniors. Which has shown true team spirit, with that said I believe that tomorrow nights game will be a win. This is based on the fact that I don't think they have faced the type of speed that we bring to the table and with Charles"Hit ya with the okie doke" Rodgers, his ability to pass and run the ball might just put Xavier in total confusion. Also we must not forget our heard of good receivers including Taylor"Big Time"Bontrager so this game will be an explosive one to watch.

For your pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W45DRy7M1no

From your favorite blog,

Stan "The Man" Kamande

West vs. Wahlert...They Were REALLY Bad

So basically here's how I'd describe Dubuque Wahlert's football team:
180 pound unathletic teenagers try to pound the ball against bigger, faster, stronger teams and end up losing very badly.

West should've won this game, and they came out and dominated. It's that simple. Brandon "A Bay" Bay along with the other line members deserve credit for the victory, dominating the trenches most of the night. An early TD pass from The Rogers to "Tayler-Time" Bontrager was basically all West needed on a night where Wahlert's best chance to score was a 57-yard field goal.

To realize how crazy that concept is, I'll say this: Most NFL kickers can't make 57-yard field goals. So why would an acne faced teen be able to hit it? Exactly...

If I'm not mistaken, West is now eligible for the playoffs. Yes, playoffs. Now we might be seeded very low, but this is a huge accomplishment for a program that didn't win a game last year. Our turnaround was faster than Britney Spears at Peking Buffet. So West fans, acknowledge this feat.

On a separate note, the student section was kind of weak. USO's (Unidentified Sophomore Objects) were dangerously close to me in the first couple of rows. Always a bad sign. So attention all students..go to the games! Rock n' Skate became stupid after 7th grade! There isn't much to do.
That is all

With Love,
David "Lights Out" Rachke

West vs. Prairie...Domination at it's finest

Yes

Now THAT is what I call a football game.

It was apparent early that we were gonna do well in the game. The opening drive was dominant to say the least, featuring Charles "Mike Vick" Rogers running all over the Prairie defenders like the librarians over the 2 freshman whispering in the library.

But the real story tonight was the defense, which looked AMAZING. Prairie couldn't run fullback dive at all and when they threw it always seemed like there was either an interception or a pass deflection. Basically, it looked like this for Prairie.

The difference in my opinion between this game and other games was that when we needed a big play, we got a big play. Jordan "This Guy" Bradley made a sweet diving catch and Tayler "All day" Bontrager had many 3rd down receptions to compliment "Vick" Rogers in his running attack. In high school games, momentum is such an important part of the game, and big plays like these keep the momentum going our way.

As usual, great job by the student section with the tunnel, but I was promised to be carried off the field by Gannon so I'm kinda disappointed. But still, good job, keep up the good work, cheer on.

So far in the season, I'm impressed with how we've played, kudos to Sauser and the other coaches on play calling and motivation. It's working out.

But the job is not done, we must move on, and as I sign off, I leave you with the words on one Benito Mussolini.

“We deny your internationalism, because it is a luxury which only the upper classes can afford; the working people are hopelessly bound to their native shores.”

Well put Benito, well put....

With Love,
David "Lights Out" Rachke

TOO LEGIT 2 QUIT

In the days after City left us with the embarrassing feeling of being Derby Sanchez'd. I started to reflect on the stories that really never made the blog due to reason such as: Laziness, other events going on, and our busy schedules.

1) I will start with the day that Sahan ran his first XC race, when most people look at Sahan you see a goofy looking kid with glasses and taco meat; but, Sahan is more than just taco meat, he has the heart of lion. He had been practicing the art of the 5k for weeks until Martz called his name and gave him the go ahead to be a man (here you go Dotseth) and run like the wind. Throughout the day Sahan had been pumped up ready to run, with his Sri Lankan rap music in hand and his Taco Meat filled XC jersey he was ready to humiliate the competition. He finished his 5k and showcased his famous "Sahan Shuffle" to the multiple fans on the course

2) The win in Waterloo was the night that football became legit again at West. During the two years before that win, guarantee's of winning had been made and winning had be nonexistent; but, with the giant man that is Jacob Gannon and the quick legs of Jamal "J-train aka BreakyaAnkles" Thompson the winning spirit came back to West in dramatic style. Gannon was able to bring out his toughness while we ran with abandon all over the field leaving Waterloo West fans scared. With the first win in over two years, we broke the Curse of Suraj and started a new chapter that was West High football.

3) Another achievement was the winning of the spike. Even though our football team was unable to capture the boot, we were able to use our "Beet City" shirts for a victory. Dominating the Little Hawks in a 3-0 game, thanks to the amazing creativity of Bres and the unquestionable athletic ability of our team to put fear into Hawks. Having our own student section at the game helped increase the intimidation factor and create our own little massacre on the court. With each dominating blow by our lady Trojans, we slowly stole their dignity leaving them with nothing but embarrassment.

I am sure that there is a lot more that we missed out on, but I really don't care. Catch us in the paper today and help us reach 1000 Views.

Also.....we are gonna be in the WSS(The school paper), so check us out!!!!

Here's your video of the week:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78tC1DzRLvQ
(For the Student Section)

West vs. City...Innocent 'til Proven Guilty

Hiroshima and Nagasaki vs. The Atomic Bomb
Scar vs. Simba
All other Math Teams vs. The West High Math Team
Holyfield's Ear vs. Tyson's teeth
Most people vs. the rubix cube
BK vs. Girls
West vs. City...2009

All in common? complete domination...I'll let you pick the winners

As a fan, I came into the City-West game very uncertain about what the outcome would be. I didn't think we'd actually win, mainly because they're the number one team in the state and we are obviously not, but I always remained optimistic in our chances.

But seriously....

It's fair to say that besides the kickoff return yardage category, West pretty much got dominated in every single phase of the game. City imposed their will, running all over us like Austin Powers and then they passed all over us, like girls at a dance who don't want to dance with that one guy because he's "that guy", you know? At any rate, it was difficult to see the light at the end of the dark tunnel that was Thursday night from around 7-9:30 P.M. As a fan, you know it's not going well when your players return to the sideline and throw their helmets on the ground. If the game was a fight, that's when you gotta put your pride aside and throw in the towel.

Derby Sanchez didn't do anything. He didn't need to. But how amazing was the student section?!? Totally dominating the weak student body of City with cheers like, "We've got spirit", "Oh no, we suck again!" and "9 more field goals". Not to mention a boombox (the 1990's just called me, they want that line back).

Oh wait, sorry City just scored again..."11 more field goals".

Anyway, I will put that loss behind me, as should all West fans, and focus on getting homecoming dates/that English reading you put off until the last minute. The homecoming game will be a good one against CR Prarie a.k.a. 4-H Cedar Rapids style. I know we'll be ready to go.

So I'll leave you with the wise words of one Chris "CJ, J-Hawk" Jones

"I don't look back, I just keep going"

With Love,
David "Lights Out" Rachke

They won the Battle, but they won't win the war

Thursday night we found out that our Trojans not only have a ton of weed as discovered earlier this week, but also a lot of heart. They fought back from a 42 to 3 deficit to a 49 to 10... deficit. If that's not a moral victory, I don't know what is.

I've been trying to be more optimisic about our football team lately, and the Battle of the Boot really shivered me timbers, threatening to turn around my new found smile. Although we got rocked by one of the best teams in the state, I managed to dig deep and find some golden moments that outshined the tragic loss to our cross town rivals.

Here is what I came up with...


Nate Ewing gave me a McDouble for free

China's fumble recovery was friggin' awesome (Tay-lor Aus-tin, clap, clap, clapclapclap)

Charles Rogers threw an amazing pass to Tayler Bontrager for a 'touchdown'

Our field goal attempt wasn't blocked, and we made it (9 more field goals, clap, clap, clapclapclap)

The West High PAT special teams put together another great performance, going 1 for 1. Astounding...

At one point in the game, we stopped the Little Hawks on third down and they were forced to punt on fourth... simply amazing...

Party in the USA was played not twice, but three times in the student section. Thank you Miley Cyrus and Katie Aschoff

We scored an actual touchdown (double digits, clap, clap, clapclapclap)

Sean Moore and Maddie Vernon shared a steamy goodbye after being cheered on by the student section

No bottles were thrown at the cheerleaders, and therefore the cheerleaders didn't throw any back (you got lucky this time, Tommy)


That's all for now. I hope everyone can now see as I see and realize that they actually had a good time on Thursday. GO WEST!


On a completely different note, the Green House Sports blog is being featured in next week's West Side Story. Keep an eye out.

Yours truly,
Ben "Still don't have a really cool nickname" Goerdt

Kennedy vs. West...So...What Just Happened?

If I could use one phrase to describe friday's game, it'd be "what just happened??". Before I could turn around, something would have flown by that I didn't expect.

It started with some dude tripping into a somersault when our squad tore threw the "cage the cougars" banner, then it continued with the 2nd play of the game when some kid, apparently Usain Bolt, smoked our defense for a huge touchdown. I won't even bring up some of the things BK was saying to the girls in front of us (you're welcome readers). But they all fit the key phrase of the night, "What just happened?".

After the huge first touchdown play.
Wilson: "you know who that guy reminds me of? Josh Lenz"
Me: "you know who that guy reminds me of? Jesus Christ"
'nuff said.

We may have lost the game but here are things to praise
1. Our defense held a team pretty well, something that hadn't happened the past 2 games
2. The J-Train can run over little children on the way to the end-zone
3. The student section was in full force, and fellow blogger Ben Goerdt successfully rocked the fo-hawk...congrats!

Sure we may have lost the game, but we fought. Gannon was in dominant form, abusing the Kennedy women like Chris Brown. We look pretty good going into the biggest game of the year, and even us, mere mortals, should expect to at least compete with the gods over on the east side.

We had solid offensive play calling by whoever our offensive coordinator is (Sahan suspected). Including the sick reverse pass between Tayler "Don't call me Jordan" Bontrager (Jordan is his older brother fyi) and Jordan "The Mastermind" Bradley, which resulted in a score.

So who knows, we could go into Bates field and upset the number one little hawks. Stranger things have happened.

With Love,
David "Lights Out" Rachke

A Brand New Season

As we enter the second week of September and the 4th week of school; the climate of West High sports has changed. Why you ask? Because we won our first football game of the season. With this first win of the season, we have exceeded the expectations of about every kid at West and probably shattered the world with the improbable; but, I have one question for you the reader. What unlikely event will happen next? Well I've have some guesses.

1) We will beat City

2) The librarians let anarchy take over the library

3) This blog will get to 1000 views

4) Sahan wins a JV cross country race

5) Michael Vick is allowed into petland and other pet stores

6) Mr. Kirpes loses his mathematical purpose, developes a love for sports and stops converting innocent freshmen into bad joke loving freaks

7) Math team loses to ghetto math club from davenport( This actually could happen, black people who sell on the corner are pretty good at collecting and adding money)

8) Cops and black people learn to coexist

9) Jacob Gannon loses his toughness again

10) Dane Cook becomes funny

11) Russia becomes better than the U.S in a meaningful sport

12) Hawkeyes lose to Arkansas State

Videos of the week:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh87njiWTmw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-PMrugmpV8

The Battle for 'West': Diary of The Win

Having gone to all of the West football games in the past year, I had to make the journey to Mordor also known as as Waterloo. I decided to keep an ongoing diary of the night. What happened you ask???...history. Let's take a look back shall we?

4:59 I leave my house, beginning the night in a stylish fashion...Wilson's Avalon (that's how I roll). The journey has started.

5:00 I believe in the voodoo stuff, so the first song we listen to on the radio is critical on my vision on how the night will go. What's the song you ask? New Divide by Linkin Park. I start breaking down the lyrics and come to the conclusion that the divide is between West High football and winning, and that tonight might be the night we bridge that gap. American Humanities talent at work ladies and gentlemen...wait, who am I kidding, what ladies? Only gentlemen.

5:05 We didn't plan so well food wise, so we stop at McDonald's in town for a quick bite before hitting the road. I order the McRachke Deluxe (4 McDouble's and a Medium Drink, which always gets a good response by the cashier and my thighs). We receive the first stares of the night by the questionable McDonald's crowd. Naturally, we eat as fast as we can before a brawl breaks out.

5:44 Somewhere around Cedar Rapids, I break into a staring contest with another driver. The result? Score one for David, while the other driver slows down with her tail between her legs.

6:03-6:06 Apparently, I can't read Lady Gaga's poker face.

6:18 Folk music has an FM station?!? Who knew...

6:38 Wilson locks the doors as we first enter Waterloo...not a good sign

6:40 Arrival...hooray!

7:50 After watching our sophomore team beat up on the Wat. West pee-wee football team, the game begins. IC West brings a solid crowd, containing fellow blogger Benny Goerdt (there's your shout out). While Kathryn Smith and Taylor Austin find the biggest bug ever seen on the ground. Later confirmed to be dead by a 10 year old walking by. Only in Waterloo!

8:01 After moving the ball well, Charlie Rogers connects with Richard "Don't call me Kobe" Bryant for an early touchdown. Richard was as open as a Waffle House at 2 AM. The crowd goes crazy, high fives all around, and it's looking good so far.

8:41 Rogers flies by the Wat. West defense, leaving them as confused as O.J. after the verdict. He should switch uniforms with Big Mac so he can be the West high Mike Vick. The night is looking up!

9:00 21-7 at half after another phenomenal TD run by Rogers. The thesaurus is in good use for this blog entry to describe his runs.

9:22 Wat. West scores, but comes up short literally on the extra point. How can you miss an extra point short? Everything is going our way tonight! (note: the J-Train is full steam ahead tonight, like a well oiled machine. Get off the tracks Wahawks...)

9:45 End of 3rd quarter, IC West leads 28-19. Will it be enough? "We need one more score" says Leo Franz '11.

9:53 Wat. West scores...

10: something IC west scores...there you go Leo

10:09 Wat. West scores...uh oh

10:14 On a critical 4th and inches, Neil "Maddawgdiesel6" Madsen trucks some defenders to pick up a first. Do you smell that? I smell victory..."milk that clock" chant begins.

10:20 After punting back to Wat. West, Jacob "Stone Cold" Gannon sacks the QB on 4th giving us the ball back. We kneel (for the first time ever) and win...WIN!

1:36 Sunday Afternoon I double take rereading what I just wrote, boy it feels good!

10:23 After a storming the field denial by Dr. J, we form a tunnel near the locker room to congratulate the team. My life is complete. Discussions of if this was better than Linn-Mar in '07 begin.

10:39 I blackout in the car after the win. My wallet is missing 5 dollars, Wilson suspected.

11:40 A car passes us going at least 140...Sahan suspected.

12:00 Arrive back at home, with a victory in my belly and a tear in my eye.

I'd like to personally say thanks to all the football team for the win. It's the best birthday present a man could have (even if it wasn't my birthday). And way to go if you read the whole thing! You're a trooper.

With love,
David "lights out" Rachke

Events That Have Happened Since the Last West Victory

• Brett Favre retired 3 times

• Dumbledore died

• Shan Yu came back from the dead

• Spiderman 3 sucked

• Uggs

• Neo became The One

• Dane Cook became funny (still very uncertain)

• I won the Super Bowl appx. 12 times on Madden

• Chocolate Rain

• 21,510,526 teenagers around America went through puberty

• Sahan came to America

• We have a new president

• The stick was inducted to the National Toy Hall of Fame (Even though most of our parents really didn't see this a toy, but more of a weapon of mass destruction)

• Felix Pie was put on the DL with a twisted testie( not as weird as Indonesian soccer star Mistar, who was killed by a herd of pigs that invaded the soccer field)

• Miley Cyrus

• Guitar Hero

• 7 more Ice Age movies

• The Waterboy found his father

• Poppin' the collar came back

• Nick Wilson grew another foot and a half

• The Cubs did not win a World Series

• The vicious Charlie claimed another victim

• The vicious Cheney claimed another victim

• Ely Manning finally got to see a woman naked

• The Math Club has won approximately 2,147 math competitions

• This guy posted a video on facebook

• This guy got destroyed

With Love,

David "Lights Out" Rachke, Stan "The Man" Kamande
and Ben "Dessert" Goerdt ( Kind of ify on the nickname)

A GIRL'S SPORT...WAHHH???

In order to not be considered sexist we have decided to feature a women's sport....It was a tough decision but one that had to be done before we had a lot of women yelling at us(Although if you read Rachke's posts, he would probably like that).

Women's swimming...Considering I probably am the best one to talk about this, I will let you into the world of swimming. We call our competitons, meets, during these "meets" we have different heats of different events, something that is unique to Girl's swimming is the fact that they have diving. During the diving portion of the meet, it is probably one of the most awkward and scary thing you'll ever experience...but lets get to the key swimmers on the team this year.

The girls team is a key contender this year for state, having a lot of young new swimmers and a lot of senior leadership. They will be riding on the shoulders of:

Meg "The Keg" Hingtgen-Not known for her drinking skills but rather for being one of the senior leaders on the team and one of the less socially awkward to talk to...For those who know her, go see her after reading this and call her "Harry Potter".

Grace Murray- Probably the best swimmer in the school male or female, she is our equivalent to Michael Phelps minus the smoking and drinking...the actual swimming

Other Swimmers- They are too many to name/I really don't wanna waste more time on this terrible entry but if they preform the team should have the most depth in the MVC.

The girls have a swim meet at C-Rec at 5 tomorrow...People should come and see a close meet that should be full of excitement and some winning

Since this is probably one of the worst blog entries you will read this year...I truely do apologize at the end of the day, swimming is the most boring shit in the world

For those who labored thru and read this

thanks,

Stan"the man" Kamande

Hempstead v. West Football...Texas Cage Match Review

Yikes...

What else can I say...

Coming into the game, the football players eluded that Hempstead was "one of the worst teams in the conference" and we would win...
so much for that!
(note, the picture isn't football related at all, it's just hilarious, enjoy)

Hempstead pretty much did whatever they wanted in the game, except win the "we've got spirit" chant, but in their defense, they were tired from running all over the defense...so its legit

Basically football games come down to two things: Winning and Student Sections, and we have one of those, so i'll let you be the judge.
Not to say our team didn't fight hard, they always will and thats something I respect about our team and coach Sauser, we'll never stop competing. And Bontrager made some sick catches too. So there is alot of good stuff to build on.

But there comes a time when we need to win a game. And that time, is this Friday...At Waterloo West (who is going through their 3rd coach in 3 years), we will have a chance I believe. (just ask neil "maddawgdiesel6" madsen...he'll agree).

I'll probably be there (ladies?) to support the squad, and I encourage the readers of the blog to come, it'll be a good time.

Your friend and my favorite,
David "lights out" Rachke

Martz Madness - Boys XC Preview

Nobody knows exactly how this sport got started, but we can guess. In ancient times, tribe leaders were said to punish the awkward and underdeveloped youth by making them run long distances for absolutely no reason. This custom continued because it gave those unfortunate young boys a group to bond with. It eventually became the sport of Cross Country.


As little as I know about cross country, I guess I am more qualified than Stan or David to write this preview because I am on the team. I will start by explaining the nature of the sport. Practices consist of a group of boys ranging from 4'6'' to 6'4'' putting on the shortest shorts they can find and running around town with reckless abandon. The confident ones even venture to take off their shirts, in hopes of attracting the attention of the hotties driving by. At meets (a 5K run), the 7 fastest guys run varsity and the rest run JV or Fresh/Soph.

As far as West High Cross Country goes, we all know Frank Canady, but I'm going to try to give you a feel for the rest of the team that runs in Frank's shadow (or at least for the guys whose names I know).

Varsity
Frank Canady - Frank was 3rd in the pre-season rankings, and is the only ranked member of the team. Although his lame jokes and sexual inuendos seem to depress the team, his ridiculously fast times on the course make up for the lost motivation.

Matt Eckman - Matt is a cross country kind of guy (see what I did there?). His long legs and dedication will carry him far this season. Also, his normalcy puts him on the short list of people I can actually talk to during practice.

Tyler Chenhall - Tyler has always been good at XC. It was always him and Frank leading the pack at Northwest. He has gotten considerably faster since then by making the tough decision to discontinue his bowl cut.

Ben Hall - Since his friends all left for college, Ben has had more time to focus on the sport. He joins Matt on the list of people who can hold a conversation.

Ryson Something - He's fast.

Varsity Kid #6 - He's also fast.

Varsity Kid #7 - He's pretty fast too.

Other Runners
Rob Grady - Grady is a decent runner, but is suceptible to sneak attacks, during which Ben Goerdt and Jon Skarda abruptly and covertly speed past him in a moment of glory. He dreams of the day that he will successfully launch a sneak attack on Goerdt and Skarda, but that day will never come... and that's a promise.

Eric Dotseth - Eric has been plauged by injuries in the first few weeks of practice. When he's not running, he enjoys long, awkward walks on the beach and talking while Coach Martz tries to give instructions.

Jon Skarda and Ben Goerdt (me)- This is Jon and Ben's first XC season, and it has been a productive one so far. They run XC to stay in shape for wrestling as well as for some other reasons. They are set apart from the rest of the team because of their ability to put weights on each side of a bar before attempting to lift it (Ben Hall just lifts the entire rack). They look forward to team meals the night before meets.

Yamanashi - Named by Skarda and Goerdt, Yamanashi is a decent XC runner until the last 400 meters, during which he becomes a super saiyan and passes other runners at will. Don't try to look him up on the roster, because Yamanashi is not his real name, although it should be. Note: The name Yamanashi comes from Mad TV's Coach Hines.

Sahan - Perhaps the most famous member of the team besides Frank, Sahan jogs hard every second of every practice (except when he's walking). He enjoys flaunting his taco meat during practice and gives the team some much needed diversity.

Thats about everyone I know slash feel like talking about. Be sure to come to the West High Invitational on September 29 at the Ashton XC Course at 4:30!

JV Superstar,
Ben Goerdt

Here is a video to put you in the mood. You're welcome Jared.

p.s. If I offended anyone in cross country I sincerely apologize. The sport takes a lot of dedication and hard work and I respect everyone who goes out.

p.s.s. If anyone has a suggestion for a nickname, leave a comment.

New Start....Same End

Last nights game with Dubuque Hempstead showed me three new things about this season....

1) The new scoreboard makes things a bit more interesting
2) We have a lot more speed on the offensive side of the ball
3) Our new jersey's look pretty cool and not so rustic

Even with all those new changes, one thing remains the same. We can't win a game. It has been 10 games since our first win, that's more than 680 days since our last win... The game started off with unrivaled enthusiasm until we had two early penalties. The attributed to an early seven point deficit. We came back with a touchdown of our own after a couple of big passes by the North Liberty Lion and some big rushes by the J-Train. After this turn events, things went downhill and Dubuque went on for 31 unanswered points. During this time, the cheerleaders went on with trying to entertain and rally the student section with no avail(who would have guessed.....)

As halftime rolled along and the sounds of Billy Joel resonated through the stadium several thoughts went through my head:

1) Why do we keep bootlegging out to the left leaving us with only half the field
2) We really need Otto as our kicker again
3) We aren't putting real defensive pressure on the quarterback
4) This face paint is really stiff/our cheerleaders really sucks

The game ended with a score of 38-21 but for those who were there, it was worse than what the score indicates. I have faith that we will win a game this season and show some real toughness on the defensive end, but if we don't we will be in store for more games like this.

From an optimistic but worried fan,
Stan "The Man" Kamande

West High Football~Season Preview

Around this time of year we ask this single elementary question....Is the football team gonna win a game? Well to put your mind at ease about this question (like you were really concerned) we are gonna give you our season previews.

We will start off with:

Ben Ten Goerdt's Prediction ~ Ok, im going to make this WHS football preview short, because chances are there isn't going to be much to view on our side of the scoreboard again this year. Yes, we might win one or two games, but all i can really ever hope for is something for the student section to cheer about (yes! yes! yes! yes!). of course, the football players themselves are slightly more optimistic. and by slightly i mean extremely. dj khaled must be the personal hero of every player, because no matter how bad they are going to be, all they can say is 'WE DA BEST.' no matter, if we wanted to see someone win we would all go to the math club competitions, but thats not what WHS football is about. its about losing your shit when we get a first down, wearing body paint when you know that it will be washed away by your own tears in less than two hours, and always knowing where you are from (WEST SIDE!!!).

Lights-Out Rachke ~ Well its that time of the year again, time to throw on the prediction caps and try to project the record of the infamous West High Football Team. So you're probably asking yourself, "Self, why would i read this? I don't need classmates to tell me that our football team will be bad. And how do i feel a strong physical attraction to the writer?". Whoa slow down now, one question at a time. As a loyal West High Football Fan (1 of 2 students to attend all 9 games during the 'Season of Assault') i feel like my opinion matters alot more then anyone elses. But you weren't there at Wahlert when we were winning, so i get a voice! Anyway, this year i gaze into my crystal ball and predict many things...and 2, yes read it again, 2 victories. I think that the talent level this year around the league is down and we've picked up the slack last year's class left behind. Big Mac at QB will help the team's morale and churn them to early victories. That's all for now!

Your Friend and My Favorite,

David "Lights Out" Rachke

Stan "The Man" Kamande ~ For the past three years, West High's football program has gone through many high and low moments....mainly low. This years team shows a enthusiasm and pride that has lacked in the hallowed but packed hallways of West, but when you think about it I would be pretty confident if I hadn't won a game last year..I mean it's not like they can get any lower. When we go to West games we aren't really there to watch the game but rather to chill and cheer for our annual senior Suraj like figure and I don't anticipate that to change this season. When I look into this years schedule I see a lot less talent in the conference and a clearly better team under Sauser's second year as coach, but that's not saying a lot. I see a lot of close games and sacks until our last game where it all clicks and coincidentally we play Prairie and get our 1st win of the season. Also, two predictions 1. that we will see the A-11 Formation a lot this season, even though it doesn't really work...it looks pretty awesome...2. Sahan will provide more entertainment for the student section than the cheerleaders. I believe that the latter is more likely to happen then not

As we finish this post we leave you with our video of the week

NEW WEST SPORTS BLOG

Many of you are probably wondering why we(Ben Ten Goerdt, Light-Out Rachke, and Stan "the man" Kamande) have started this. Well the answer to that is...Sports at West lack entertainment. We want to bring interest into sports that you never hear of and at the same time bring JV Superstars to the forefront. Sit Back, Relax, and have a few laughs about your many West sports teams.